wat bout pragnant strippers??
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize