Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
