Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
