Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
