dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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