When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
