is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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