You're so nebulous sometimes
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
