new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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