Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
