why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
