Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
