love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
