i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
