my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Church boner. Awkwardddd
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
