We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
