I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
