I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Randomize
