I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
