I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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