if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
