Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
