ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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