Hey man sorry I got all grabby
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I just want nice things and good sex
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
