Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
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