Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
