if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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