So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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