yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
