Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
