yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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