oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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