Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
why do cheetos always look like penises
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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