I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
