is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
