We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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