Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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