That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
