He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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