jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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