There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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