You really coming over, don't trick.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
