i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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