carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
