That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
