Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize