He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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