the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
True college students do jello shots in the library
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