I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
