I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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