hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
