Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
