I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
