tell your sister to shave her snatch
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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