I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
