I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
