all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
