I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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