We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
